I was never under the impression that I have outgrown my awkward phase, or that I am ever likely to. However, my awkwardness seems to be honing itself onto specific body parts. For example my mouth. I spent a good portion of my childhood combatting my genetically pre-dispositioned British teeth. Tens of thousands of dollar later and my mouth looks like it could pass for American, meaning all my teeth are my own and are some shade of white.
So I thought this part of me was safe from the awkwardness that spreads. Oh how wrong I was.
This Friday I woke up with the ability to only open my mouth about an inch wide. I guess I should have seen this coming, because my usual party trick is showing off that I can fit my whole fist in my mouth. This of course has never lead to a blossoming friendship or any kind of relationship, but only a few awkward propositions, but hey, why hide a natural born talent. Normally I don't question my abnormalities and let them run their course.However, when something stands in between me and my desire to eat copious amounts of food, well I just won't have it. I tried the usual thing of downing medicine to no avail. Next came the oralgel and this is when things got weird. One has to apply it in their mouth with their finger. Now I have a nasty tasting nailpolish on to keep me from biting my nails (the awardness spread to my nails as well). The oralgel numbed my mouth causing public drooling (something I am accustomed to), but the taste of the nailpolish lasted about 5 hours. Despite the riot that was taking place in mouth, I still managed to down a plate of nachos and talk all night long. I guess some things are impossible to stop.
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